10 things every parent should know about eating disorders

I don’t know anything harder than not snacking between meals. I love food. Sometimes I wonder if I am to food the way that an alcoholic is to beer.

My own perennial battle of the bulge has gotten me thinking about how high school students cope with body image and the pressure to be thin.

As many readers know, I teach at Boyer Valley high school in Dunlap and I’ve also coached cheerleading for more than 10 years. In all that time, there may have been girls who struggled with eating disorders, but I was unaware of it. This year several kids have joked, threatened, talked about as if it were a viable option, and even bragged about either starving themselves (anorexia) or making themselves throw-up (bulimia).

Fortunately, it’s often not genuine. Either it’s a plea for attention, a typically teenage penchant for melodrama, or a sad but not serious way to whine about their weight. When girls really do succumb to these disorders, there are hospitalization programs and counseling.

But as a father of three young girls, I became very concerned. What will it be like for them when they get to junior high and high school? So I did a little research and want to share ten things every dad should know about eating disorders. These are just as important for moms and grandparents too.

1. Did you realize that our body size is pretty much a given, just like our height or hair color? In spite of that, by junior high 30-50% of American girls say they feel too fat and 20-40% are already dieting before they’re even 10 years old. By high school, 40-60% of girls feel overweight and try to lose.

2. As someone who grew up under a fear that the Soviet Union would bomb us into nuclear winter, this one surprised me; many girls say that they are more afraid of becoming fat than they are of cancer, nuclear war, or even losing their parents.

3. The fashion models weigh 23% less than the average woman.

4. Most people who develop eating disorders, start during adolescence. While self-esteem for both girls and boys is strong as children and drops for both in adolescence, the drop is much steeper for girls, beginning around age of 12.

5. In a survey of working-class 5th to 12th grade suburban girls, nearly 70% percent reported that magazine pictures influence their idea of the perfect body; 47% reported wanting to lose weight because of magazine pictures.

6. Before puberty there’s no difference in depression rates between boys and girls. By age 15, girls are twice as likely to be depressed and 10 times as likely to develop an eating disorder than boys. Girls are more likely to attempt suicide than boys are, although boys are more likely to succeed.

7. Clinique Laboratories, Inc. surveyed 500 moms of teen daughters and found their number one New Year’s Resolutions was "lose weight/eat less". Yet 22% of these same mothers list the fear of their daughter developing an eating disorder among their top concerns. Only 16% of the 500 teens in the same survey worried about developing an eating disorder.

8. Anecdotal evidence suggests that comments from male family members trigger dieting, and teasing is associated with weight-control attempts in adolescence. I can’t imagine making fun of my girls for being fat or calling them names, but there are parents that do just that. Maybe they do it because they’re worried about them and hope to motivate them to eat less, but what it does is hurt them deeply.

9. According to data presented to the National Institutes of Health, 33-40% of adult women are trying to lose weight at any given time –fueled by a cultural perception of a feminine "ideal" that is actually much too thin for good health.

10. And finally, we dads are important. Statistics show that girls with dads who spend time with them and really try to be part of their lives are more ambitious, more successful in school, attend college more frequently, and are more likely to attain careers of their own. They also are less dependent, more self-protective, and less likely to date or marry abusive partners.

You can find out more from the International Eating Disorder Referral Organization. www.EDReferral.com

Building Confidence

(originally written for my column in the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper in 2005)

“Confidence is the inner knowledge that when you are yourself and others are free to be themselves, everything works out for the best.” ~Brian D. Brio, Beyond Success; 15 secrets to Effective Leadership and Life Based on Legendary Coach John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success.

One of the biggest struggles in coaching cheerleading is helping build confidence. It’s one thing to yell and kick along with five other people during practice, but doing it in front of several hundred people on a Friday night is quite another. Doing it in front of a couple hundred of your peers and classmates at a pep rally is even more nerve-wracking.

People have asked me how I can speak in public. Simple; I know that I’m going to make mistakes that people may laugh out eventually in life, so I may as well be prepared to laugh at myself. If I can do that, that I don’t have to be afraid of making a fool of myself. Now I’m not charming or funny enough to be very good at deliberately making people laugh, but I can manage to get in front of a big group of people and talk to them about just about whatever, without panicking.

Retired UCLA Coach John Wooden’s Pyramid of Success is one tool that I’ve tried to use to help kids learn about teamwork and important character traits like work-ethic and confidence. Another one is Norman Vincent Peale’s classic The Power of Positive Thinking. A few years ago an author named Mary Lou Carney wrote an adaptation of Peale’s book for Teens. In The Power of Positive Thinking for Teens, she lays out ten simple steps for building your confidence:

1. See success- it’s an age-old coaching technique, you imagine, “visualize,” you picture yourself doing well. Starting with the end in mind, that’s all it is.

2. Nix negativity- sometimes this is the most difficult step. It means not letting yourself talk yourself out of being able to do whatever it is that you have to do. Force yourself to not be doubtful.

3. Don’t build obstacles- you’ve heard the old saying, “you’re your own worst enemy?” It can be true, so be on your guard against self-sabotage. Don’t look for excuses to fail, don’t make things harder than they have to be.

4. Be yourself- That’s all you can be, don’t try to pretend to be something else, lay it all out there and if they like you, great, if they don’t, oh well, their loss, don’t take it too personally. This is what my opening quote is about. Just know that when you are yourself and allow be themselves, everything will work out for the best.

5. Know your strengths- Many coaches have you list your assents and then focus on what your good at, not what you’re not good at. A lot of times that will compensate for your weaknesses. It’s also helpful just to list and review your strengths in order to remind yourself that you’re at least good for SOMETHING.

6. Know yourself- this is not the same as #5. This one could be written as, “know your limits.” If you know what your values are and, yes, what your weaknesses are, you can look for ways to maintain a balance, delegate out responsibilities, or ask for support.

7. Use the antidote (Philippians 4:13)- Memorize and recite this verse at least ten times a day. “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.

8. Aim high- If you shoot for nothing, you’ll hit it every time. If you shoot for the moon- even if you miss, you’ll reach the stars.

9. Put yourself in God’s hands- We don’t know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future. Sometimes all you can do is to do your best and let God do the rest, also known as “let go and let God.”

10. Be unbeatable

Varsity B/G Basketball Schedule

Here is our schedule with all the singe-gender and Freshman/JV games taken out. When in doubt, check the school's website for the complete schedule. Sounds like Kaitlyn won't be able to join us after all this season, so we're down to 4- but what a mighty 4! So lets get you 2 veterans teaching our 2 rookies as much as we can as soon as we can. I got Chaise outfitted already so we just need to get Kelsey a uniform and we're in business. And special thanks to Cujo for the Coffee from Dunkin Donuts. MMMMM!

Dec. 5 Whiting G/B V Home 6:00pm
Dec. 9 Odebolt-Arthur G/B V Away 6:00pm
Dec. 12 West Harrison G/B V Away 6:00pm
Dec. 13 AHST G/B V Home 6:15pm
Dec. 16 Woodbine G/B V Home 6:30pm
Dec. 19 Ar-We-Va G/B V Home 6:30pm
Jan. 9 Lo-Ma G/B V Away 6:00pm
Jan. 12 Southern Cal G/B V Away 6:00pm
Jan. 13 COU G/B V Home 6:00pm
Jan. 16 Woodbine G/B V Away 6:00pm
Jan. 17 Lawton-Bronson G/B V Away 6:00pm
Jan. 20 West Monona G/B V Away 6:00pm
Jan. 22 Ar-We-Va G/B V Away 6:00pm
Jan. 23 IKM-Manning G/B V Home 6:00pm


Jan. 26 Western Valley Conference G Tourn. TBA 6:00pm
Jan. 27 Western Valley Conference G Tourn. TBA 6:00pm
Jan. 29 Western Valley Conference G Tourn. TBA 6:00pm
Jan. 31 Western Valley Conference G Tourn. TBA 6:00pm

Feb. 2 Western Valley Conference B Tourn. TBA 6:00pm
Feb. 3 Western Valley Conference B Tourn. TBA 6:00pm
Feb. 6 Western Valley Conference B Tourn. TBA 6:00pm
Feb. 7 Western Valley Conference B Tourn. TBA 6:00pm

MS Basketball Cheer Schedule

11/24/08 Shelby County Catholic School Home 4:00pm
GIRLS 12/02/08 Charter Oak-Ute Middle School Home 4:00pm
12/05/08 Lo-Ma Jr. High School Home 3:45pm
12/08/08 Ar-We-Va Middle School Home 4:00pm
12/09/08 Charter Oak-Ute Middle School Home 3:45pm
12/16/08 Woodbine Jr. High School Home 4:00pm
12/18/08 West Harrison Jr. High School Home 4:00pm
GIRLS 01/05/09 Schleswig Middle School Home 4:00pm
GIRLS 01/08/09 IKM/Manning Jr. High School Home 4:00pm
GIRLS 01/22/09 Lo-Ma Jr. High School Home 3:45pm
GIRLS 02/02/09 Ar-We-Va Middle School Home 4:00pm

My old school may be in danger

Yikes! How bad is it? Are the Townends in trouble? Is LHS in trouble? All we hear on the national news is about the Montecito fired. Jenn Perlich's post on Facebook is the first I'd heard that Sylmar was dealing with this.

What do you guys know? Do they have it contained? Have many homes been lost? Has the school been closed this week?

Friends and former students- please check in and let us know you're okay

LHS Alumni, and EVERYONE, please pray for the thousands of people who've been evacuated and those losing their homes. And please pray for the safety of LA Lutheran MS/HS!!

Fast-moving Sayre fire forces Sylmar residents from homes
- Los Angeles Times 8:54am

Source: www.latimes.com

An explosive brush fire driven by 60-mile-per-hour gusts ripped through the northern San Fernando Valley today, burning homes before leaping both the 210 and 5 Freeways...

More than 2,500 acres had burned by 5 a.m. Saturday morning, with more than 1,000 structures threatened by uncontrolled flames and more than 10,000 residents were under mandatory evacuation.

2008-09 Basketball Season

Looks like we don't have enough candidates to hold a formal tryout this Tuesday.

Here are the candidates I'm pretty sure are coming out and those that aren't:

-Sounds like Christine' Harriott is looking for a second job :(
-Danielle Jepsen is choosing not to come out after all

+Sasha Meggers
+Kensie Jensen
+Chaise Fraizer
+Kaitlyn Bonsall (home games only because of job)
+Kelsey Muff

I'd still like to get Elsa Brown and/or Rachael Coenen, but haven't heard from either of them for a while.

That said, please plan on practicing Mon 11/17, Mon 11/24 and Tues 11/25, Mon 12/1, Tues 12/2, and Thur 12/4

I would like to plan on practicing every Monday and Thursday once the season gets started, but I understand that that may not always work, as usual we'll play it by ear and try to be flexible.

Here is the December schedule:

Dec. 5 Whiting G/B V Home 6:00pm
Dec. 9 Odebolt-Arthur G/B V Away 6:00pm
Dec. 12 West Harrison G/B V Away 6:00pm
Dec. 13 AHST G/B V Home 6:15pm
Dec. 16 Woodbine G/B V Home 6:30pm
Dec. 19 Ar-We-Va G/B V Home 6:30pm

Happy World Diabetes Day

World Diabetes Day (WDD) is the primary global awareness campaign of the diabetes world.
It was introduced in 1991 by the International Diabetes Federation (IDF) and the World Health Organization (WHO) in response to the alarming rise in diabetes around the world. In 2007, the United Nations marked the Day for the first time with the passage of the United Nations World Diabetes Day Resolution in December 2006, which made the existing World Diabetes Day an official United Nations World Health Day.

http://www.worlddiabetesday.org
http://diabetes.org
http://jdrf.org

Ideas from UCA

Review all of your cheers, replacing football lingo with basketball terminology. Change "touchdown" to "basket," "first down" to "rebound," "field" to "court," and "six points" to "two points."

Here are some ideas from this summer's material to get you started:
• Get that ball Get Tough Dogs X Get that Ball X
• Take that Ball X Down that Court X Basket X Go Bulldogs
• Bounce X Bounce to the Hoop Dogs X Shoot Two
• Defense X Get Tough X Steal that Ball
• We Want a Basket Dogs Score BV Score X

Found this at "Dads & Daughters"

New Online Community for Girls NewMoonGirls.com is a fabulous new resource for tween girls whose creation was guided by tween girls. It's a secure web community for girls ages 8-12 to develop their full potential and comes from the creators of the girl-edited, award-winning New Moon Girls magazine. Common Sense Media calls the site "a stellar online destination for girls 8-12." Worth checking out!

TRYOUTS

Cheer Tryouts for Basketball Season have been rescheduled- Tryout practice Mon Nov 17 ^th and Tryouts will be Tues Nov 18^th. Please see Coach Mallory in Room 219 paperwork.

• A number of candidates were sick Mon. Nov. 10
• Some may have been absent due to the funeral of a BV Alumni in Moorhead
• Coach Mallory needs to attend P/T conferences for his daughters at COU Tues Nov. 1

Prayer Request

Former Cheerleaders and dear friends,

Please pray for one of my former cheerleaders Audrey (Lave) Meadows and her two little boys. Her husband was crossing the Little Sioux River outside Onawa Friday AM. It was icy and he slid off the road and rolled several times. Unfortunately, he did not survive. Audrey lost her sister to cancer this year. I can't tell you how awful I feel for her an her family. PLEASE lift them up in your prayers, grant them peace and strength and help them get through this. Ask God to remind her that they are in His hands and that He will never let them go.

James 5:13-16
Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.

BV Cheer Tryouts

Reminder-

Tryouts will be Thursday, November 13 at 3:20 after school in the BVS Commons area. Tryout Practices are after school Monday and Tuesday in the Art Room.

If you haven't gotten your parent permission slip and your 3 teacher recommendation sheets in to me, please do it as soon as you can. I can't make a final selection without the teacher evals and I can't let you tryout next Thurs without the parent permission slip.

Attached is a PDF that has an example of how I crunch my numbers, which includes teacher recommendations (based on NHS and 5 Pillar Character Ed. attributes), GPA, and your evaluation scores. The PDF also has an example of the judge's form. It's based on competition judging forms from NCA, UCA, and COA. You'll all perform the same cheer and chant together for the judges, and then return individually to perform the same cheer, chant, as well as a few chants of their own.

A lot of people in Dunlap have been commenting to me all Fall about how unfortunate it is that we have so few people go out for cheer and then end up having people quit before the season's over. One person even suggested getting rid of cheer leading and having the drill squad lead cheers at games. Bring back Cheer at BV!

This is your chance to show that Boyer Valley students really do have school spirit, pride, and commitment!

Thanks, see you next week.
Ted Mallory, Boyer Valley Cheer Coach


________________________________________________
Boyer Valley Community Schools
Challenging all students to meet their full potential
http://www.boyer-valley.k12.ia.us

In Madrid

"Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give."

~Eleanor Roosevelt

You girls have been a joy to coach and a joy to be with. It would make me very happy if you'd all come back out for basketball cheer. Each of you and all three of you are always in my heart and often in my prayers.

Thank you for a wonderful season.
Love,
Coach