Print this out and give it to your Dad

Women's March Madness! 10 Tips for Dads & Daughters During the Women's NCAA Basketball Championship

March Madness gets underway March 22nd for women's college basketball and March 20th for the men (and the start of the WNBA season isn't far behind!). This is an exciting time for dads to watch or listen to the women's game with their daughters and stepdaughters. Here are some tips for fathers and stepfathers during tournament time.

---

1. Remember that your daughter or stepdaughter hungers for your attention. Make popcorn and watch the tournament together for a great opportunity to talk about the game, or anything else on her mind! Women’s NCAA Division I games are on ESPN and ESPN2—the Women’s Final Four is April 6 and 8 in Tampa.

2. Fill out brackets together (find them here.) Dads & Daughters member David Powers shares his story:

My wife, daughters and I all fill out brackets and have a lot of fun tracking who won, who lost -- and we even give prizes (for example, the winner picks where to have dinner next time we dine out). We learn about colleges they may not have known, talk about national (and sometimes international) geography, look at player profiles to see where they were from, what they were studying in school, etc. In short, a very low cost way to connect with your daughter!

3. Celebrate these powerful women. Compliment a great shot, steal, or smart pass. Our daughters hear so often that men only care about women’s looks. Show your excitement for the game by commenting on players’ skills and physical capabilities. And if commercials objectify women (e.g., scantily clad women in beer commercials), call the station, the product manufacturer, and the NCAA to complain.

4. Talk about your basketball days, if you played. Talk about how hard it is to master, while still incredibly fun for anyone to play. Ask her opinion on game situations as they arise. Then get interested together in other women’s sports, like golf, soccer and volleyball.

5. Read articles together about the games you watched or missed in the newspaper or online. If your news source has inadequate coverage of the women’s tourney, write a letter to the editor to ask for more articles.

6. Watch ESPN 2’s “License to Thrive” documentary on Title IX during the women’s NCAA tournament. It premieres March 30 at 1 PM ET and tells how Title IX opened up so many new opportunities for girls and women in sports and other arenas. See http://licensetothrive.org

7. Come up with a fun activity or contest related to what happens on the court. (E.g.: If her favorite player hits a 3-pointer in the 13th minute of the first half, Dad has to help Daughter with her chores the next day.)

8. Talk about the positive trends in basketball (on-court hustle or its increasingly international flavor) as well as the controversial ones (recruiting abuses or the question of male vs. female coaches) and ask her what life lessons she learns from the game.

9. Go to a game in person (and bring Mom, too!)--the Division I Regional championships are March 29-April 1 in New Orleans, Spokane, Greensboro and Oklahoma City. The Division II Elite Eight plays March 26-29 in Kearny, Nebraska and Division III March 21-22 in Holland, Michigan. There's nothing like the atmosphere of a real tournament game.

10. When the game is over, go outside and shoot hoops together!

Get more resources for fathering daughters at our website!
DADs: Making the world safe and fair for our daughters

Bet you're th apple of your daddy's eye

I don't know who the original author of this poem was, i found it on Facebook somewhere, but I think that it is a cool poem...

Girls------------------------------------
-----------are like apples--------------
-------on trees. The best ones--------
-----are at the top of the tree.--------
---The boys don't want to reach------
--for the good ones because they-----
-r afraid of falling and getting hurt.-
-Instead, they get the rotten apples-
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples up top think
something's wrong w/ them when in
-reality they're amazing. They just--
---have to wait for the right boy to--
---- come along, the one who's-------
----------- brave enough to------------
---------------climb all-----------------
---------------the way------------------
--------------to the top-----------------
-------------of the tree.-----------------
--o----------------------------o----o-----

For all the Cheer Dads out there...

Dads and Daughters Togetherness Tips

You want to do something fun with your daughter—but WHAT? Today we have the answer for you—it’s publication day for The Dads & Daughters Togetherness Guide: 54 Fun Activities to Help Build a Great Relationship by best-selling fathering author (and Dads and Daughters President) Joe Kelly.

Order your copy of this ultimate rain-or-shine resource today! Then check out these Togetherness Tips, just a sample of the dozens of fun activities in The Dads and Daughters Togetherness Guide.

---

1. Do six impossible things before breakfast. Pop into your local diner or café for a father-daughter sit down breakfast. Before the food comes, you each dream up six impossible things. From riding flying horses to lifting up the seat cushion to find a secret door to China, this creative thinking exercise stimulates fun conversation and, chances are, you’ll still be talking about it when you’re walking or driving back home.

2. Build an edible bridge. Use marshmallows, pretzel sticks, and gumdrops to construct a miniature bridge—and get a fun physics lesson. Test the bridge’s strength by stacking cookies and crackers on top. Then eat your building materials when the bridge collapses!

3. Take a drive to nowhere. Turn off the radio and let her navigate. You may be surprised what you find in your very own town! Leave time to make fun stops at tag sales or other interesting landmarks.

4. Make a Top Ten list. You write down 10 important things you want your daughter to know before she grows up. She lists 10 important things she wants to learn about you and your life before she moves away. The resulting conversations create life-long memories.

5. Let her be the coach. Ask her to teach you how to do something she is talented at. Your daughter’s self-esteem will grow as she shows you how to make origami cranes, weave friendship bracelets, or create a podcast.

6. Write a story together. Whether in person, over the Internet, or via old-fashioned snail mail, take turns creating a story. She writes a section, then you move the plot and characters along for a section, then she takes it back for the next stretch. Add illustrations, too. A perfect togetherness activity for dads and daughters who don’t live in the same place.

Order the Dads and Daughters Togetherness Guide right now!

Get more resources for fathering daughters at our website!
DADs: Making the world safe and fair for our daughters

March news for girls

Dads & Daughters® Update
March 2007

THE PRICE OF SEXUALIZING GIRLS

Bad things happen when girls (from as early as toddlerhood) are surrounded by messages that the best thing they can be is “hot.” A new report from the American Psychological Association’s Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls says that sexualized images and pressures boost the risk of "three of the most common mental health problems of girls and women: eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression." The report lists Dads & Daughters as a resource to parents and advocates.

You can fight back by drawing girls out about how they feel about the sexualization trend—and by offering them positive alternatives such as sports, alternative media (like New Moon magazine www.newmoon.org), community involvement, arts programs, and other things that tell her (and her brothers) that you value who she is more than how she looks.

Read the APA report at: www.apa.org/pi/wpo/sexualization.html?imw=Y.

---

MARCH MADNESS SEIZES WOMEN!

The NCAA Division I Women’s National Basketball Tournament gets underway on March 17. Games will be played in Austin (TX), Minneapolis, Stanford (CA), Los Angeles, East Lansing, Hartford, Pittsburgh, Raleigh, Fresno, Greensboro, Dallas, and Dayton—with the Final Four set for April 1 and 3 in Cleveland. Get information on Women’s March Madness (including Divisions II and III) at www.ncaasports.com/basketball/womens -- and take your daughter to a game!

Watch your inbox later this month for Dads & Daughters Tips for watching the Final Four with your daughter.

---

WOMEN'S PRO SOCCER LEAGUE IN 2008

Six investors and Major League Soccer are working to develop a new major professional women’s soccer league. The league will start in April 2008, building on the excitement of the 2007 Women’s World Cup in September. The league will have teams in Chicago, Dallas, Los Angeles, St. Louis, Washington, D.C., and one other city to be determined.

CALL TO ACTION ON UNDERAGE DRINKING

Although there has been a significant decline in tobacco and illicit drug use among teens, underage drinking has remained at consistently high levels. That’s why the U.S. Surgeon General's Office has just issued a Call to Action for Americans to do more to stop America's 11 million current underage drinkers from using alcohol, and to keep other young people from starting.

Acting Surgeon General Dr. Kenneth Moritsugu said "Too many Americans consider underage drinking a rite of passage to adulthood. Research shows that young people who start drinking before the age of 15 are five times more likely to have alcohol-related problems later in life. New research also indicates that alcohol may harm the developing adolescent brain.”

Moritsugu urged alcohol marketers to reduce outdoor ads, stop advertising in college newspapers, and end sponsorship of college sporting events.

Read more at www.hhs.gov/news/press/2007pres/20070306.html.

Prom Tips for Dads of Daughters

Prom Tips for Dads of Daughters

High school Proms can be filled with excitement, dread, fun, uncertainty—and all at the same time! For many fathers, Prom is one more reminder of how quickly their little girl is growing up—and a reminder of the hazards facing her out in the big bad world.

Here’s how one father and mother are feeling about it:

“We feel pressure and anxiety about Prom’s expense, co-ed parties afterwards at a ‘new friend's’ house, the level of how much ‘looking good’ is the focus on these events, how it takes on the flavor of a mini-wedding, etc. It seems that a fun dance often becomes a struggle about the huge expectations of what Prom means to the new teen culture. And we’re also concerned with the "lenient parents" vs. "rigid parents" among parents of the couples in our daughter’s Prom group. We're middle of the road, but we find many other parents are either too overbearing or way too lenient.”

The national advocacy nonprofit Dads & Daughters offers these tips to help Dads and their Daughters and Stepdaughters get the most out of Prom time.

---

1. It’s her Prom, not yours. Dad functions best when he’s a good coach who listens closely to where she’s at, rather than imposing his emotions or fears on the situation.

2. Does “Dad” mean “Detective?” Yes. It’s more than okay to meet her date ahead of time. Make it a low-pressure meeting, like encouraging her to invite her date over to do homework some night. Promise her you won’t act like a prosecuting attorney (and then keep that promise), but let her know you care about her friends because you care so much about her.

3. Keep your head when, all around you, others are losing their shoulder straps. Wearing “sexy” clothes (and dyeing hair) is normal adolescent behavior. It can be a daughter’s self-directed experiment in self-definition. Dad’s job is to let her know that he loves her for who she is, now and forever. Meanwhile, you are not a dork if you set a dress code, but be willing to compromise or (even better) develop a dress code together.

4. Beauty is in the eye of her Dad. Always remember how important your opinions are to your daughter or stepdaughter. A girl needs to know that her Dad thinks she is beautiful inside and out. Tell her she glows by just being herself -- and that the dress, hairdo and flowers are extra to her true, inner beauty.

5. Both be in the know about the “Nos." No booze, no drugs, no hotel rooms, no riding without seatbelts. No exceptions. Then make sure she knows that, no matter where, when, or what the situation, you will come get her immediately if she finds herself in an uncomfortable or unsafe circumstance. And that there will be no lecture until at least the next day. Make a pact that you will let each other know where you are and who you’re with, all evening, no exceptions. Be sure she has access to a phone to reach you.

6. Yes, Dad, Prom costs money. So set a budget early. Talk honestly with each other about the cost of tickets, a dress, flowers, parties, etc. Then work out a realistic plan for what you can afford together, letting her share some of the load.

7. Simple is the new black. Many kids and families (and, sadly, some schools) invest so much in Prom that it seems like a bigger deal than a wedding. While teens want to fit in, they also like to be different. So offer the “simple” approach to Prom as her way to be radically different. Skip the limo (drive her yourself), skip the Vera Wang (many a fine dress hangs in thrift and consignment shops), and skip the Royal Banquet (suggest the old-fashioned idea of post-Prom bowling or eating at the local diner in tuxes and gowns).

8. Save the first dance for Dad. Make sure she knows how to slow dance with class and style. Practice with her to some songs from your Prom days.

9. Lock in on lock-ins. If the school hosts a post-Prom overnight lock-in, make sure you know what will be happening there and get her commitment to observe all the rules (including the one about having fun). If you volunteer to chaperone, make the following deal with a fellow chaperone: “I promised my daughter that I wouldn’t hover around her and her date. So, if you keep a close eye on my kid, I’ll cover your flank by keeping a close eye on your kid.” Only let her attend a non-school post-Prom party if you know the host family very well, they have a substance-free policy, and they know there’s going to be a party!

10. C’mon over! You can avoid the post-Prom party minefield by having your daughter and a handful of her friends (and even their dates!) over to your house for a relaxed, substance-free, and well-chaperoned get-together.

11. Breaking up doesn’t mean the party’s over. If she breaks up with her date before Prom, encourage her to go with one or more other friends, even if there isn’t any romantic interest. But most of all, respect how she’s feeling, hear her out, support her, and follow her lead.

12. We’ll leave the light on for you. Wait up until she gets home, and then enjoy the fruit of your trust in each other—the great stories she’ll tell about the Prom (but don’t take it personally if she wants to tell Mom more than you—because she may well tell you later, if you stay open to her).

For more tips, encouragement, and expertise in fathering healthy daughters and stepdaughters, visit our website.

Dads & Daughters provides men with tools to be better fathers and advocates for our daughters.

To request the text version or to unsubscribe, click here.

Kenny, who was our mascot back in 2001, and the mascot at my Alma Mater, Concordia for a year after that, is now working on a Master's in Communications in London. He recently ended an email to me in a peculiar way.

Later man,
Kenny

PS: I've been wanting to tell you I think too much of your social interaction is with teenage girls. Maybe not too much, but I can really tell you're around them A LOT. I guess my conclusion is that it's funny. You're funny. Not too funny, but funny nevertheless.

What did that MEAN? You think too much of your social interaction is with teenage girls? I don't get it.

Is it that I must act/think/have their kind of sense of humor or something psycho like that? What can I say? Occupational hazzard. If too many of them have wore off on me and I'm now some kid of mutant freak emotionally/socially I guess thats just the price I've had to pay.

Girls need appropriate relationships with men modeled for them. They need dad-figures. Some of them more than others. By no means am I so important or going to save the world or even save any of them.

"Studies show that the risk of juvenile delinquency, substance abuse, sexual abuse, early pregnancy and dropping out of high school is six times higher for children whose biological fathers are not part of their lives."

~By: Hara Estroff Marano, 'Psychology Today'

I'm just a cog in God's machine. He's used them to prepare me to be able to withstand being the real dad to three of them and hopefully He's using me to make some small difference in their lives in the meantime.

Believe me, I hate melodrama and gossip and shopping and shoes as much as the next red-blooded, overweight, middle class, Midwestern, American heterosexual guy. Hell, give me a beer and a cigar and a big leather chair and dead animal heads on my walls. But, if spending so much time with them makes me some kind of a pseudo-adolecent or a neo-metrosexual or something, I guess that's the price I have to pay.

Click here if you're a decent dad who wants to make a difference in hid daughter's life:

Men Against Violence and Sexism: 10 things any dad can do