Thursday, June 21, 2007


How to Win Friends and Influence People
By Dale Carnegie

I have been looking for a cheap copy of this book in used bookstores this summer but haven't managed to find it yet. You can find it at your local library. Business leaders and politicians have sworn by it for over 70 years now. If you want to be successful in life, not just cheerleading- you might just want to give it a look. (I added cheerleading comments in parentheses and italics.)

How to Win Friends and Influence People
This is Dale Carnegie's summary of his book, from 1936

Part One
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain. (Be positive, duh)
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want. (In other words, sell them on you, or in our case- sell them on school spirit- sell them on having fun- it does not mean "arouse" in a sexual way, duh)

Part Two
Six ways to make people like you
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile. (How often do I try to beat that into you?)
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. (Learn their name, remember their name, use their name- I'm terrible at this)
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Part Three
Win people to your way of thinking
(I always used to try to make sure my Newspaper students knew the difference between just going off on a rant and actually trying to persuade people. A lot of it is the difference between talking to them and talking at them.)
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. (The best way to lose a chess match is to be too aggressive. The only person who ever wins an argument is the one who refuses to engage in one.)
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong." (Most people who are wrong, still hold their opinion very sincerely and for what they think are good reasons)
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically. (You'd be amazed at how much credibility you gain by admitting your mistakes- you'd think it would be revealing your weaknesses, but it truly makes you stronger in other people's eyes.)
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. (It's called empathy, and the world needs a whole lot more of it.)
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas. (We should be doing this at pep-rallies.)
12. Throw down a challenge. (First we do a chant, then we get a group of kids in the crowd to chant, eventually most of the crowd will be chanting.)

Part Four
Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior.
Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation. (That's what cheerleading is all about, Charlie Brown)
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct. (Now THAT'S what cheerleading is all about, Charlie Brown)
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. (Cheerleading at it's CORE!)

Loud and Proud!

No comments: